Southern California, circa 1974

Look at me in my fancy duds. Nothing says haute couture like a red corduroy sport jacket. I hear you can find them in all the finest department stores these days. Too bad I didn't have the matching plaid pants; otherwise, I'd be unstoppable. Now look behind us. See that unusual looking plant? My teenage brother planted that. Kinda strange for a teenager to be interested in horticulture, wouldn't you say? Especially in Southern California. That's what my parents thought, anyway.

The Perfect T-Bone

Drivers of automobiles need to stop trying to be so polite and stick to the rules of the road. You've all witnessed the scenario where a driver in the left lane of a double-lane, two-way road yields to an oncoming vehicle turning left in front of them. The "courteous" driver feels good about yielding the right-of-way, but completely disregards the fact that there is a right lane of traffic. Oftentimes the "courteous" driver's car obstructs the view of other drivers and causes an accident. Next time a "courteous" driver yields the right-of-way in this kind of situation, don't take the bait. Just because they yield doesn't mean they can control what other drivers are going to do.

Terrorism Works

The news coverage of the shootings at Ft. Hood has crystallized a very unfortunate fact in my mind: terrorism works. When an Islamic extremist can gun down his fellow soldiers while shouting “Allahu Akbar” at a major military base, and the mainstream media is reluctant to call it terrorism, we've got a serious problem in the United States. The irony is that the people who don’t want to “jump to conclusions” are the biggest victims of terrorism themselves. They are so terrorized that they cannot even conceive of terrorism in this case, let alone utter the word. Terrorism is not only the act of destruction, violence, and murder; it is also the resulting attitude of fear, silence, and denial that some hope will spare them from the next attack. Indeed, the response of the major media outlets has confirmed to me that terrorists are achieving their goals.

Nobel not so Noble

America: where working against the domestic and foreign policy interests of the United States gets you a Nobel Peace Prize. Now I understand! The end of America means the beginning of peace. Duh!

The Sausage of Vienna

Vienna Sausage, the best in the land
Proudly I sit with a can in my hand
No hunting required, no guns to employ
Just pop off the lid, and start to enjoy

O Sausage, fair meat from a place called Vienna
The mere sound of these words will raise my antenna
In the family of SPAM, but to my regret
It’s the weird, crazy uncle some want to forget

Crammed into a can with no room to spare
The fragrance of meatiness perfumes the air
The savory broth for which to imbibe
Has an “interesting” smell that’s so hard to describe

Akin to the digits of a middle-aged man
These Vienna Sausages fall from the can
Seven pink wonders, each two inches long
Oh, the magic fills my heart with a song

Extruded in batches from a giant machine
It’s cylindrical sludge (if you know what I mean)
This product includes both the feet and the snout
And form a geometrical meat-log layout

The texture is soft, even spongy, and light
There’s no criticizing this gourmet delight
It cuts with a knife and is smooth as paté
It’s good on a cracker (at least that’s what they say)

The trimmings of animals all scraped together
Crushed and formed into “sausages!” Oh, the splendor!
Combining the innards, the bone and the hoof
My triglyceride count has gone through the roof

The can says the meat is "mechanically deboned"
And I’ve heard that the animals all have been cloned
To provide the consistency we all deserve
A marvelous product we clearly observe

The snap of a hot dog, distinct and unique
In this sausage is absent, like Ancient Greek
Not as fatty as SPAM, and the taste, well, it’s great
It’s surprising that it would remain on your plate

Running string through the links of this tender meat
I make a large wreath and admire this feat
Like the candy necklace I munched in my youth
An occasional speck of grit stuck in my tooth

No need to refrigerate or even reheat
This superb byproduct is ready-to-eat
A good M.R.E. on a camp or a hike
A delicious companion wherever you like

Some call it ambrosia, the “food of the gods”
While others can’t stand it…what are the odds?
Bake them, deep fry them or make into hash
Some strongly contend they belong in the trash

Some consider it only “emergency” food
But sausage supporters believe this is rude
With all the preservatives, this meat will last
For centuries, or perhaps a nuclear blast

Despite the debate I think you will agree
That keeping canned food is necessary
There is no excitement, no glamour, no glitz
But you’ll be glad you have them when the Big One hits

These fleshy M-80s all drunken with brine
That buttery texture, so rich and so fine
This pureed meat product, a marvelous snack
Take heed, may induce a mild heart attack

For this wondrous concoction, eternal my thanks
To the mad scientist of these Frankenstein franks
These freakish frankfurters, this mystery meat
A brilliant invention, a miracle treat!

This culinary marvel I proudly will serve
Impaled on a toothpick as a kind of hors d’oeuvre
Made from chicken, and beef, and don’t forget piggies
This succulent sausage is offered by…Libby’s.

Scott M. Passey

Chris Cornell: From Edgy to Sketchy

I loved Chris Cornell the moment he hit the Seattle grunge scene with his band Soundgarden. He got even better with Audioslave, a band which I adored for a few short years before they split. Now he's on his own and his latest offering is not living up to expectations. He definitely a singer's singer, a true crooner, but his new album leaves a lot to be desired. Here's hoping he returns to his roots and the original stylings that made him such a star. Audioslave is definitely my most-played on the iPod, and it's due in large part to the talents of Chris Cornell.

My Queensryche Moment

In 1995, I was in graduate school and trying to make ends meet by working part-time at a local grocery store in Edmonds, Washington. One night as I was working the service counter, a man approached me and asked where the bathroom was. I directed him to the back of the store, while simultaneously trying to maintain the best possible poker face. I didn't want to give Geoff Tate, the lead singer of the 80's band Queensryche, the satisfaction of knowing I recognized him. I honestly think he was making a public appearance just to find out if anyone recognized him, since QR popularity had diminished considerably by that time. I wasn't particularly enamored with their style of music, but it was one of those brushes with "greatness" I did not soon forget. Looking back on it, I wish I had made an announcement over the store's PA system: "Attention, Olsen's shoppers. Mr. Geoff Tate of the band Queensryche is in the building and has just asked to use the bathroom. Please join me in welcoming Mr. Tate to our store."

25 Random Songs

RULES: Put your iTunes (or whatever music player you use) on Shuffle. No cheating, write down the first 25 songs that come up when you hit your FWD arrow.

1. Jump In The Fire - Metallica - Kill 'Em All
2. Have You Ever Seen The Rain? - CCR - Chronicle, Vol. 1
3. Suite Madame Blue - Styx - Classics Vol. 15
4. Summer of Love - The B-52's - Time Capsule
5. The World Has Turned And Left - Weezer - Green Album
6. Somebody To Love - Queen - Greatest Hits
7. Overkill - Metallica - Garage Inc.
8. Annie's Song - John Denver - Greatest Hits Vol. 2
9. Twisting - They Might Be Giants - Flood
10. It's Going To Take Some Time - The Carpenters - The Singles 1969-1973
11. Kings And Queens - Aerosmith - Aerosmith's Greatest Hits
12. 13th (Swing Radio Mix) - The Cure - Galore (The Singles 1987-1997)
13. It's Called A Heart - Depeche Mode - Catching Up With Depeche Mode
14. Oh Me - Nirvana - MTV Unplugged In New York
15. New Orleans Instrumental No. 1 - R.E.M. - Automatic For The People
16. One More Go Round - James Taylor - New Moon Shine
17. Suffragette City - David Bowie - Best of Bowie
18. You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban - Closer
19. Hate To Feel - Alice in Chains - Dirt
20. Somebody Told Me - The Killers - Hot Fuss
21. In My Dreams - Crosby, Stills & Nash - Greatest Hits
22. Touched By The Hand of God - New Order - The Best of New Order
23. The Last Remaining Light - Audioslave - Audioslave
24. Perry Mason - Ozzy Osbourne - The Essential Ozzy Osbourne
25. No One Knows - Queens of the Stone Age - Songs For The Deaf

Dad Strikes Again

My dad had an extremely sharp wit and loved writing letters to the editor. The following letter to a local radio station is a fair example of his style. He received a reply from the producer, who agreed with his assessment and complimented him on his writing ability.

1/14/73

KFAC Radio Station
5773 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, Calif.

Dear Sirs:

I would like to make a comment about the electronic composition “Silver Apples of the Moon” aired on your Avant Garde program last Saturday evening. Since the only portion thereof that I could comprehend was the composer’s statement read beforehand by your announcer, that is the only portion about which I feel justified to comment. The composer stated that the piece was not intended for the concert hall, and should be listened to only by small groups. I wholeheartedly concur. Exceedingly small groups. In fact, the smaller the better.

Sincerely,

D. Clinton Passey

P.S. I would also like to make an intelligent comment about your Avant Garde program in general, but there aren’t any.

25 Random Things About Moi

I will dispense with the pre-list commentary and get right to it:

1. I was born a poor black child.

2. I am cursed with Peter Pan Syndrome, also known as looking young for my age (no, Peter Pan Syndrome does not mean something else). To others I appear to be about 15 years younger than my actual age. When I was 16, I looked like I was 1.

3. I have driven the same car for the past 13 years: a 1996 Ford Escort Wagon. It’s the LX model. That’s just how I roll.

4. I was born in Redondo Beach, California, which is also where I proposed to my wife.

5. I got two separate speeding tickets from the Oregon State Patrol within the space of one hour. The first was justified; the second was not. I appealed the second ticket to no avail. Here is a brief description of the Oregon court appeals process. If you are an out-of-state resident, you mail a check for the penalty along with an appeal statement. They cash your check and laugh at your letter as they toss it in the trash.

6. I was an extra in an episode of the short-lived TV series “The Fugitive” starring Tim Daley. I played a cop in the opening scene, where we were frantically searching for the fugitive along the boat marina in La Conner, Washington. I think I appeared on camera for 2 seconds, so by my calculation I am still due 14:58 minutes of fame. They shaved off my goatee and trimmed my mustache; goatees are prohibited by the law enforcement dress code.

7. I am an avid cyclist, a scuba diver, and a tormented artist/musician.

8. I love watching the Food Network. I secretly wish I had gone to culinary school.

9. I was the victim of an armed robbery at my first real job -- a small, family-owned grocery store in Bountiful, Utah. At closing time, the criminal held us at gunpoint and demanded my boss empty the day’s receipts into his bag. A few weeks later the police told us they had found a suspect, so we went down to Salt Lake County Jail to see if we could identify him. We all chose the same guy from a lineup. We received subpoenas to appear in court, but a couple weeks before trial we were informed that the suspect committed suicide in his cell.

10. We have four boys, ages 14, 12, 10, and 6. We had retained miscarriages for every child we have had (where the fetus does not abort itself).

11. A six-gill shark swam by me in 20 feet of water at the Keystone Jetty in Puget Sound. This is very rare because six-gill sharks typically live at depths of well over 100 feet.

12. I love to compose music but can never seem to finish a song before the next idea enters my head.

13. We got married in Seoul, Korea and had three different wedding receptions: one in Seoul, one in Seattle, and one in Bountiful. Neither Alisa’s parents nor mine were all together at any of the receptions.

14. I’m into spiritual philosophy and have been reading the works of Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie, along with the works of God the Eternal Father and Jesus Christ.

15. My dad had an unusual sense of humor and came up with interesting nicknames for both animate and inanimate objects. His name for me was Skarpathian Pugsforth.

16. I used to love watching team sports on TV, but now I can’t stand it. I am more interested in individual sports such as tennis, golf, and cycling. Go Lance!

17. Lightning struck the power pole outside our house, rupturing the gas line running under our front lawn and catching the grass on fire. The fire burned for six hours before the public utility district could figure out where the shut-off was. They had to replace the power pole and dig up our front yard, along with several other yards in the neighborhood.

18. I like to gather crabs off the bottom of the ocean, and I like to shoot spears through the heads of large fish (sounds barbaric, I know, but spearfishing is far more ecologically friendly than hook-and-line fishing).

19. Since my college days I have owned 8 different motorcycles. I currently only have two: a Yamaha V-Star 1100 Classic and a Kawasaki Ninja 500. Alisa rides the Ninja.

20. I repelled down a 100-foot vertical face in the Sierra Nevada Mountains as an 11-year-old scout.

21. I drink a cup of red ginseng tea nearly every weekday.

22. My ultimate dream is to teach each of my boys a different instrument and start a family band. Unfortunately, my oldest son has an inexplicable aversion to music. When he was a toddler, he would cover his ears and say “Stop!” every time one of us started singing. However, he got Guitar Hero for Christmas and has been playing like a pro, so I’m still hopeful.

23. I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.

24. I acquired a dry, deadpan sense of humor from my father and grandfather, and I thrive on satire and sarcasm. When things get too serious, I have to lighten them up. This also works in the reverse when things get too light.

25. I have lived a truly blessed life, and I am sincerely grateful to all those who have made positive contributions to my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. To all others who have had a negative impact on my development: may you suffer eternal torment in the fires of Mordor.

Advice for annoying newspaper columnists: Drop dead

"Advice for frustrated job hunters: Stay focused." This was the headline of an article in a recent Snohomish County newspaper. Pathetic excuse for journalism, if you ask me. Advice as general as "focus" can be extended to virtually every problem, every facet of life. Here are a few I came up with: "Advice for absent-minded professors: Stay focused." "Advice for struggling high school students: Stay focused." "Advice for easily distracted alligator trainers: Stay focused."

I realize there is a limited amount of detail one can put into a headline, but come on folks, can't we do better than this? There is a disturbing trend in the modern media to create news based on the obvious, self-evident truths we call common sense. I attribute this to a certain laziness on the part of journalists, who no longer do the difficult research and analysis that leads to those counter-intuitive insights that readers find interesting.

"Advice for anyone who faces any particular challenge, difficulty, trial, or speed bump in the road of Life: Stay focused." And while focused, keep a focus on the lesser-known phenomena that make life interesting.

My Colon, My Friend

I never thought I'd be talking colonoscopy at my age (42), but here I am, getting a colonoscopy today. There seems to be a family history of colon polyps (siblings found with colon polyps at age 40) so I thought I'd strike while the iron is hot. This Colyte stuff is really awful, though; drain cleaner for the body...think Dumb and Dumber, only worse. I had to start the clear fluids diet yesterday, and my appointment isn't for several hours, so I'm STARVING. Right now I could kill for a California Chicken Burger from Red Robin. I think that will be my first stop on the way home, although they say you get pretty loopy from the sedative so I'll probably just go home and sleep. But oh yes, that burger is mine tomorrow (repeat for dramatic effect).

UPDATE: The colonoscopy went smoothly and the doctor found nothing out of the ordinary.

Where Have All the Artists Gone?

One of my many New Year's resolutions is to find out where all the talented artists have gone. It seems that I'm always looking to the past to find the best examples of talent, creativity, and self expression, whether it be in the realm of art, music, or literature. I got a new iPod for Christmas and I am hard-pressed to find any modern-day band that compares to the artists of yesteryear. Listen to Queen's Greatest Hits and you'll see what I mean. There is nothing that compares to the vocals, melodies, harmonies, pianos, or guitars. My wife's cousin is an unbelievably talented drummer, despite his 10-year bout with cancer. Even with his physical limitations I know he drums circles around the competition. He's done a lot of studio work for different artists, and the feedback he gets from his peer community is this -- "Nobody plays drums like you anymore." He's my age, so I think it's a generational thing. Yes, there are some new artists that look promising, but until the next musical renaissance comes along I will continue to seek perfection in the past.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day is that one day we set aside each year to express our gratitude. While I think this is a good idea, it's mostly a symbolic gesture because we really express our gratitude by our actions throughout the year. I think a more accurate term for it is "Thanksgiving Rewards Day," because we really celebrate the fruits of our thanksgiving by stuffing ourselves with turkey and watching football. Again, I think this tradition is fine, as long as we regularly express our thanks through our words and deeds. While I think JFK's legacy is hugely overblown, I think he got it right when he said "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

Yes, we need to live by our words, but uttering them can also be a great comfort to ourselves and others. The story of the thankful Samaritan has great meaning. As Jesus Christ went through Samaria and Galilee, “he entered into a certain village, [and] there met him ten men that were lepers” who “lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” Jesus told them to go show themselves unto the priest. “And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed. “And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God. “And fell down … at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan. “And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine? “There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger. “And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole” (Luke 17:12–19).

Same Sex Marriage and Polygamy

I'm no expert on the same sex marriage platform, so set me straight (no pun intended) if I'm not accurately representing their position. My instincts tell me that monogamy is not a tenet of the SSM movement. An initial internet search yielded this interesting website devoted to this question.

My hypothesis is this: monogamy is not important to SSM advocates. How do I come to this conclusion? Well, for starters, monogamy doesn't appear to be a plank in the platform. Second, SSM advocates often use infidelity and marriage failure rates among heterosexual couples as an argument in favor of SSM. The rationale is that heterosexual couples have done enough damage to the institution of marriage that SSM won't make any difference. This reasoning is often used against traditional marriage advocates, who generally believe that SSM will destroy the institution of marriage. My biggest reason for opposing SSM is that it would allow public schools to teach the next generation that SSM is normal. I believe SSM confuses children, frustrates the family unit, and has irreversible negative social consequences, but that's a topic for a different blog.

My point is this: SSM advocates claim that marriage is a right that should be extended to homosexuals. They base this on the fact that marriage is a legal arrangement between consenting adults. If I have framed their argument correctly, then in order to remain logically consistent and to strengthen their argument even further, SSM advocates should actively support plural marriage as well. Proposition 8 provided California with a definition of marriage: the union of one man and one woman. The objection from SSM advocates focuses solely on the issue of gender, not on the number of participants. If marriage is a right that consenting adults are entitled to, and if monogamy is not a stated ideal, then they should have no problem with institutionalized polygamy. Yet SSM advocates avoid the plural marriage issue like the plague, and they are smart to do so because they understand the stigma associated with polygamy. Their silence on this question is understandable, but I would love to hear an SSM movement representative provide a clear and unequivocal statement on polygamy.

A June 2006 article in the Weekly Standard included some interesting conclusions on polygamy by Stanley Kurtz, a fellow at the Hudson Institute. He was grieved at the arguments of modern intellectuals who support decriminalizing polygamy. Kurtz concluded, "Marriage, as its ultramodern critics would like to say, is indeed about choosing one's partner, and about freedom in a society that values freedom. But that's not the only thing it is about. As the Supreme Court justices who unanimously decided Reynolds in 1878 understood, marriage is also about sustaining the conditions in which freedom can thrive. Polygamy in all its forms is a recipe for social structures that inhibit and ultimately undermine social freedom and democracy. A hard-won lesson of Western history is that genuine democratic self-rule begins at the hearth of the monogamous family." While I tend to agree with his conclusion, it doesn't really demonstrate the nexus between polygamy and the undermining of freedom/democracy.

So I ask...if it's really all about consenting adults, on what basis can one support SSM and oppose polygamy?

Size Does Matter

As I sit here composing this blog, I'm enjoying a nice large bowl of my favorite cold cereal. It's one of those oatmealy-raisiny cereals, the kind that sticks in your teeth, doused in extra-cold milk. Sometimes I pour the milk in a bowl and put it in the freezer for a few minutes, just until a small ring of ice forms around the edge. I love cereal, and I know why. Growing up in a relatively large family with little disposable income, we ate what my mom bought. And that was usually Corn Flakes. On special occasions, or when my mom was feeling unusually spendthrift, we got Shredded Wheat, Kix, or Cheerios...but 95% of the time it was Corn Flakes. I hate Corn Flakes. In my movie about an overpopulated future earth, the dramatic phrase would be "Soylent Green is...is Corn Flakes!"



Recently I became aware of my tendency to eat out of extremely large bowls. This is not good, because what looks like a small amount in a large bowl is actually a fairly large amount of food. I believe I started doing this after my mission to Korea, where they put hot soups and other foods in incredibly large bowls. They only fill the bowl about halfway, but I think part of the reason is that it helps prevents spills. I need to control my portions, so I'm going to try to select smaller vessels in an attempt to trick myself into thinking I'm eating a lot. We'll see what happens.

What's Your Story?

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that a childhood friend I haven't seen in over 30 years lives less than 10 miles from me and is still a faithful member of my church. He spoke in my ward today and shared some personal stories related to his assigned topic. It was quite nostalgic. It made me think about the other speaker -- the high councilman who droned on an on and didn't tell one personal story. He essentially read from the scriptures and summed up with his testimony. If there's one thing that people in our church need to learn, it's public speaking. Yes, I think that sharing one's personal convictions in public can have a strong impact on an audience and move them spiritually, but I also like to hear their personal stories and the experiences that have shaped their character. Good public speaking is essentially the art of storytelling, and it would do us all good to reflect on those stories that have shaped us and to share them in a meaningful way.

Bicycle Safety

As a commuter via automobile, motorcycle, and bicycle, I am keenly aware of the dynamic interactions between vehicles of differing proportions. As a result, I ride my “higher risk” conveyances very cautiously and try to avail myself of the safest route in a given situation. According to Washington State law, a bicycle is considered a vehicle and is expected to follow the same rules as motor vehicles. Yet there are many situations when it is simply suicidal to pretend I’m anything but a bike (narrow, winding, shoulder-less roads with fast moving traffic, to name one). I want to share a situation that I encounter nearly every bike commuting day, with the hope that a little education will result in greater safety for cyclists. Two streets intersect, and the street I’m traveling on has stop signs. I stop and wait for an opportunity to cross the intersection. Invariably a car will stop for me, even though it doesn’t have to, intending to yield the right of way. This is a courteous, thoughtful, and dangerous thing to do. It is dangerous because the motorist cannot force the traffic in the opposing lane to stop for me. It reminds me of the fairly common situation in which a motorist traveling in the left lane stops for an oncoming car turning left in front of him. This seems to be the "nice" thing to do, but the motorist cannot control whether the driver in the right lane will stop. Treating bicyclists more like motorists, and less like a special class of vehicle, is safer for everyone concerned. Although the situation usually dictates the best course of action, a good rule of thumb is -- if you wouldn’t yield the right of way to a car, you probably shouldn’t do it for a cyclist.

Environmentalism

I am an environmentalist, but not a raging, pathological one. I try to commute to work on my bike as much as possible and consume resources sparingly, but I don't preach to others. I don't workship Gaia, nor do I passionately embrace my forest friends of the wooden variety. I do like trees though; you've got to if you live in the Pacific Northwest. Yet I think a lot of committed environmentalists believe we are depleting our resources, and once they're gone the world will end. Many radicals actually believe they care more for the environment than others. This is a perverse way of thinking, because it assumes that people are indifferent to a declining quality of life. If there is a nexus between the environment and quality of life, then it stands to reason that we are all environmentalists to one degree or another. Most people are driven by self-interest, so it's logical that they want clean, pristine surroundings and enough resources to maintain or improve their standard of living. It's not really a matter about who cares more, but a difference of opinion about what can be done to preserve our surroundings and conserve/expand our resources. I don't think it's a zero-sum game. There is just too much curiosity, innovation, and imagination on the earth to limit us to what we've got right now.

Against the Grain

It seems that no matter where I've lived during my life, I've never fully assimilated into the dominant culture. There has always been a certain tension, whispering that somehow I am different from the rest. It might have something to do with my semi-nomadic life journey, which has taken me from Los Angeles, to Salt Lake City, to South Korea, to Seattle. I have lived in the Puget Sound region longer than any other place, so I am comfortable calling it home. Yet even here I cannot help but reject many of the social, political, and cultural ideologies that are commonly held by the mainstream community.

I was a toddler during the 60's, yet I missed much of the anti-establishment movement and only learned about it later as a teenager and young adult. While there is something about the peace & love generation that strikes a chord with me, I believe it generally devolved into a radical movement with very negative elements that can still be seen today. Part of me wants to "stick it to the man," but the other part recognizes that the man is generally a productive and positive contribution to society.

In politics I tend to fall somewhere in the middle of the conservative/liberal continuum. Socially I'm conservative and pro-life but I also feel the government should do what it can to help level the playing field. I believe in rugged individualism and personal accountability, but also accept the notion that some are disadvantaged through no fault of their own. There are some Libertarian principles that ring true for me, yet I feel the movement is largely irrelevant and guided by some crackpot theories.

Utah and Seattle are polar opposites; Utah is a bastian of conservative thought, and liberalism dominates the culture of the Puget Sound. The ideological rift between western Washington and eastern Washington is interesting; there are still some today who feel eastern Washington should secede and become its own state, with Spokane as its capital. I don't believe secession is the answer, but the idea demonstrates the extremes that people do consider.

My right-brain thinking lends itself well to the culture of Seattle, but I will never accept blue hair, tattoos, and multiple piercings as the fashion norm. These freaks need to realize that no one will ever take them seriously looking like they do. However, I respect creativity and individual expression as long as it doesn't create hostility or negatively impacts others. The flip side to this is the overly puritanical attitudes of religious conservatives. I am a person of faith, yet I cannot help feeling like a rebel compared to others in my congregation (ward). Sometimes I'll get a puzzled look if a wear something other than a white shirt to church. I heard a joke about three things one can do to stay out of the bishopric: 1) wear colored shirts; 2) grow a beard; and 3) call everyone by their first name. I no longer have a goatee, but I cannot part with my soul patch.

Although Utah is a conservative state, I recognize that the higher population centers, like Salt Lake, are gradually becoming more liberal. I think this is the natural progression of urban growth -- the idea that as the population grows and people are crowded into smaller spaces, the greater the urge to foster a sense of community. I think community is laudable and something we should aspire to, but when taken to its extreme it becomes communism, which I think is very bad. I also think in higher population centers there is a tendency to dehumanize people and view them as objects, or obstacles to overcome. I especially feel this when trying to negotiate a busy city street full of pedestrians.

The conservative side of me believes that the family is the fundamental unit of society. I think we should rely on family for everything and look to the government as a last resort. Unfortunately, due to bad luck in some cases and poor choices in others, reliance on the government is a first resort. Government should be there to provide some welfare assistance, but it's important to understand that government will never care more for the needy than family will. That's one of the reasons I think there is too much emphasis on the presidency of the United States. Some feel that the person who occupies the oval office will have a huge impact on their lives. These are the same people using the phrase "Think globally, act locally," yet they can't help their neighbor or be civil at the grocery store. I believe that we make the biggest impact on the local level, and that really begins with families, friends, relatives, and neighbors. I think the most important work I can do is to teach my kids to be honest, productive, law-abiding, educated members of society (queue the Whitney Houston song).

So for most of my life I feel I've gone against the grain, but perhaps subconsciously, and now consciously, there's an optimal tension I need to maintain my equilibrium.