25 Random Things About Moi

I will dispense with the pre-list commentary and get right to it:

1. I was born a poor black child.

2. I am cursed with Peter Pan Syndrome, also known as looking young for my age (no, Peter Pan Syndrome does not mean something else). To others I appear to be about 15 years younger than my actual age. When I was 16, I looked like I was 1.

3. I have driven the same car for the past 13 years: a 1996 Ford Escort Wagon. It’s the LX model. That’s just how I roll.

4. I was born in Redondo Beach, California, which is also where I proposed to my wife.

5. I got two separate speeding tickets from the Oregon State Patrol within the space of one hour. The first was justified; the second was not. I appealed the second ticket to no avail. Here is a brief description of the Oregon court appeals process. If you are an out-of-state resident, you mail a check for the penalty along with an appeal statement. They cash your check and laugh at your letter as they toss it in the trash.

6. I was an extra in an episode of the short-lived TV series “The Fugitive” starring Tim Daley. I played a cop in the opening scene, where we were frantically searching for the fugitive along the boat marina in La Conner, Washington. I think I appeared on camera for 2 seconds, so by my calculation I am still due 14:58 minutes of fame. They shaved off my goatee and trimmed my mustache; goatees are prohibited by the law enforcement dress code.

7. I am an avid cyclist, a scuba diver, and a tormented artist/musician.

8. I love watching the Food Network. I secretly wish I had gone to culinary school.

9. I was the victim of an armed robbery at my first real job -- a small, family-owned grocery store in Bountiful, Utah. At closing time, the criminal held us at gunpoint and demanded my boss empty the day’s receipts into his bag. A few weeks later the police told us they had found a suspect, so we went down to Salt Lake County Jail to see if we could identify him. We all chose the same guy from a lineup. We received subpoenas to appear in court, but a couple weeks before trial we were informed that the suspect committed suicide in his cell.

10. We have four boys, ages 14, 12, 10, and 6. We had retained miscarriages for every child we have had (where the fetus does not abort itself).

11. A six-gill shark swam by me in 20 feet of water at the Keystone Jetty in Puget Sound. This is very rare because six-gill sharks typically live at depths of well over 100 feet.

12. I love to compose music but can never seem to finish a song before the next idea enters my head.

13. We got married in Seoul, Korea and had three different wedding receptions: one in Seoul, one in Seattle, and one in Bountiful. Neither Alisa’s parents nor mine were all together at any of the receptions.

14. I’m into spiritual philosophy and have been reading the works of Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie, along with the works of God the Eternal Father and Jesus Christ.

15. My dad had an unusual sense of humor and came up with interesting nicknames for both animate and inanimate objects. His name for me was Skarpathian Pugsforth.

16. I used to love watching team sports on TV, but now I can’t stand it. I am more interested in individual sports such as tennis, golf, and cycling. Go Lance!

17. Lightning struck the power pole outside our house, rupturing the gas line running under our front lawn and catching the grass on fire. The fire burned for six hours before the public utility district could figure out where the shut-off was. They had to replace the power pole and dig up our front yard, along with several other yards in the neighborhood.

18. I like to gather crabs off the bottom of the ocean, and I like to shoot spears through the heads of large fish (sounds barbaric, I know, but spearfishing is far more ecologically friendly than hook-and-line fishing).

19. Since my college days I have owned 8 different motorcycles. I currently only have two: a Yamaha V-Star 1100 Classic and a Kawasaki Ninja 500. Alisa rides the Ninja.

20. I repelled down a 100-foot vertical face in the Sierra Nevada Mountains as an 11-year-old scout.

21. I drink a cup of red ginseng tea nearly every weekday.

22. My ultimate dream is to teach each of my boys a different instrument and start a family band. Unfortunately, my oldest son has an inexplicable aversion to music. When he was a toddler, he would cover his ears and say “Stop!” every time one of us started singing. However, he got Guitar Hero for Christmas and has been playing like a pro, so I’m still hopeful.

23. I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.

24. I acquired a dry, deadpan sense of humor from my father and grandfather, and I thrive on satire and sarcasm. When things get too serious, I have to lighten them up. This also works in the reverse when things get too light.

25. I have lived a truly blessed life, and I am sincerely grateful to all those who have made positive contributions to my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. To all others who have had a negative impact on my development: may you suffer eternal torment in the fires of Mordor.